sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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