it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
