Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize