An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
