fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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