Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
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When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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