tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
