why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
