I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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