I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
