2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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