It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is glitter all over my balls
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
