Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
