come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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