I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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