It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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