I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
