i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
