If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
