He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
