People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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