I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
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The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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