The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.