oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
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tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit