I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
