6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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