wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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