I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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