..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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