I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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