She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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