I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dicks are not precious.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
