WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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