So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
