this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he high fived his dick after we had sex
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
