I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
