the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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