Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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