you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
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Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
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The struggles of a small town man whore
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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