I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
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So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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