Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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