Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
