chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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