We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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