1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
