sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize