Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
