Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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