New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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