hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
