Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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