I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
