Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
