what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
