i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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