you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
